Moments of grace

Back in 2006, I used to be always busy, pretty much 100% of the time. Work, work, work, and church, and family life, and I was disappearing, drowning really. It was hard to conceive of fitting something really meaningful like a relationship in as well.

And then I guess God gave me one of the real upside down times in my life. A time which seemed, from the outside, a time of loss, of rejection, possibly even crisis, in my working life. Wheels off rails I had travelled along for so long, and dedicated so much of my life, time and efforts to.. I don't know if I caved early, and learnt the lesson quickly, or God thought I had such little faith that He would make it easy for me.

But in the "turn Jo's world upside down" time, He quickly gave me something very special. A new sense of what is important in life. A freedom from having to do the "expected" thing, a freedom to live outside the box, though I know I am still growing into that freedom. He also gave me someone very special – for those who know me well, you will know who she is....

I had one of these moments of God given grace yesterday. It was a gift, from a friend, given very unwittingly. I put a concert DVD into my PC, pressed play, and turned to sort some papers out in my room, expecting to hear the dulcet tones of Eddi Reader burst from my speakers. Instead, I heard the familiar background music which my brother in law had chosen to back the DVD he had made of Emma and my wedding, back in August. I had recorded it onto my PC, and it must have been the last thing I played via the DVD player on my PC, when Emma was over. We were both struggling with absence from each other, as she is in the Philippines and I am in the UK, and some days have been harder than others, especially as we approach Christmas which we will spend apart, again (until mid January, when I go over to see her for three weeks ). Friday had been particularly hard, mainly due to something I had said which had upset her, though we had a good chat about things on Saturday, which helped a lot.

So, particularly in the context of missing each other, the "accidental" loading of the wedding DVD was too good a chance to miss, so I sat and watched it. I saw my beautiful wife, and heard some of the promises we made, and that already began to seal some level of healing, as tears streamed down my cheeks.

At the end of the wedding service, we had a number of friends come forward to pray over us. Friends from many countries. And I read the prayer of St Brendan, from the Northumbria Community’s Celtic Daily Prayer, though I changed the "I"s and "my"s to "We"s and "ours". I have been spending a lot of time thinking about St Brendan recently, helping to clarify direction, etc. But the lines which struck clearly here were:

"We believe you will make a way for us and provide for us, if only we trust you and obey."

And as I read those words, I noticed something tiny, which did so much to encourage me. One of the friends behind us was Chaz, our pastor over in Negros. It is hard to miss Chaz, he is a very tall Western Samoan missionary, a giant of a man in many ways. A fun loving, committed, inspirational guy. He and Terrie, his wife, are good friends to us both, and their story of looking after so many abandoned kids, and then committing to taking them into their own family, is an amazing story. But as I watched the video, he gave me a gift. A gift I would have missed if I had not been watching closely.

He nodded.

Simply that. I had not noticed it before when I have watched the video. As I said the words about God making a way, he nodded. And then put his arms on his wife's shoulders, as if to say, that is our experience, and we will continue to allow God to make it our experience.

I know it was simply a nod of the head, and reaching out his arms. But it spoke volumes to me, knowing their story, knowing their faith, knowing their attitude of getting on with it, going with God.... And it reminded me to continue to trust in that God, who looks at me and nods, and says, Yes Jo, I will make a way for you and Emma, and I will place my hands on your shoulders, point you in the right direction and guide you.

I spend more time these days, making time to watch and listen as well. I could do it so much more though. And I get the feeling that I should do it more, too. Maybe those moments of grace are far more frequent than I know, it is just that I miss so many of them, cos I am not looking, or noticing...

Random.....

Fellow single dad KPETT had something I thought was pretty fun posted on his blog. Here's how it works:

1 – Go to Wikipedia’s random article page
The first article you get is the name of your band

2 – Go to the Random Quotations page
The last four words of the last quote is the album title

3 – Go to Flickr’s Interesting photo page
Third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover

If you can edit the photo, add the band name and 4 words to make the album cover.

Have fun with yours! Here's mine:

Drive That Fast's first release: "What We Could Become".


So, what are you waiting for? Go buy it!!!!!

Dr Who and church membership

So what has Dr Who got to do with church membership? Answers in the comments section please, but here's one connection.

A few weeks ago, we had a baptismal service at church. Usually, Phil our minister plans the order of service very carefully, but I reckon, this week, he must have shifted things round in his word document on the computer without actually checking it, as we took Richard into church membership before he had been baptised. Not the right way round at all. I do hope the Baptist Church police aren't reading this... Then again, why would they, no-one else does...

Anyway, one could be forgiven for thinking it is actually a sensible way of doing it, as Richard would have been totally soaked after the baptism and being accepted into membership and taking communion would not have been too convenient under those circusmtances. For a start, it would have made the bread soggy.

And Phil might have got away with no-one noticing it, but he went and drew attention to the rather unusual order of events. But then as explanation, he said that he thought it did not really matter to God, as God is outside time.... And that, to quote Dr Who, it is one of those timey wimey moments.

If you need an explanation of that, here is the good Doctor himself, explaining the concept of Timey wimey stuff.

There, hope that helped. Not often that Dr Who makes his way into a church service, but I suppose there is a similarity. After all, Dr Who is a Time Lord, but Jesus Christ tops that, as He IS the Lord of time.

Stepping Stones ....

I wonder if, like me, you grew up enjoying family holidays in the country, messing about in rivers, paddling in streams, climbing up waterfalls. I don’t think my parents have ever quite recovered from their experience of one family holiday in Snowdonia, when my sister and I went off up a river bank, saying we were going exploring, and then some while later, seeing my sister’s flip flop floating past the river bank on which they were sitting…. We did turn up a lot later, and reassured them we were fine. What they did not know (which can’t hurt them) is that she lost her flip flop whilst we were climbing up a waterfall…. Ah, the recklessness of youth (I was 15, she was 13!!).

I don’t know if anyone recognises the scene below. They are the Stepping Stones at Dovedale, in the Peak district of Derbyshire. I remember visiting them when I was about 16. Several years ago, a group of us went up to the Peak District for a weekend in March, as we were attending a friend’s wedding in Manchester on the Saturday, and fancied somewhere picturesque to stay. Well, we booked a cottage for about 14, and set off on our journey in the late afternoon sun, and eventually arrived, in dribs and drabs, fairly late in the evening, having driven across the peaks in quite thick snow. We had no idea how picturesque our location was, having arrived in the dark; we were just glad to arrive safely. On the Saturday morning, we woke to the most glorious scene of snow on the hill slopes below us. That’s by the by. A good weekend was had by all, including the wedding. And on the Monday, we travelled down to Dovedale, as it was on our way home to Essex. Several of us knew the place, and thought it would be fun amongst other things to cross the river via the stepping stones.



NB The picture above was taken in summer. It would not matter if you waded across via the water in summer, rather than stick to the stones, as the water is not icy cold. But the scene that greeted us was of a river in far fuller force, with the water lapping the top of the stones. Some of them were under water, in fact. Not even the most adventurous of us dared an icy soaking, especially as we were travelling straight on from there back home. The stepping stones were not a practical way of getting to the other side….

We have been looking in our house group at church at a book called “Beyond the Good Samaritan” by Ann Morisy over the last few weeks. A friend gave me the book, years ago, probably just after it came out in 1997, advising that it was my type of book. To my shame, I don’t think I got past the first chapter at the time. I was too comfortable in my “zone”. Maybe it is more timely for me to read now. I can't understand why it did not really grab me, back then, as it certainly is resonating with me far more now. The book explains how community ministry unites practical social responsibility and active Christian mission across all denominations, to serve the basic needs of those around us.

In the chapter we looked at last night, the author talked about creating stepping stones for those we are aiming to reach to use to come to faith, to come to Christ. And we had a very practical discussion of the activities we arrange, the issues in which we get involved, and the ways we seek to connect with our community.

At the end of the evening, we turned to prayer. And I found myself grappling with one of those "bubble up" prayers, that you just know you can’t keep down. The trouble with those I find sometimes is that I know what the first few words are but I haven’t a clue what comes next. And so it was last night. And I found myself, in prayer, reminiscing about family holidays, and paddling in rivers, etc, as described above. And I actually said out loud that I did not have a clue why I was praying this. And then, the prayer unfolded (which is better than unravelled!!). I recalled the experience of stepping onto a stone that is not firmly embedded in the water, and finding that it wobbled, which was a bit scary, or even rolled completely, which usually resulted in us getting wetter than we had bargained for. And also the recklessness of over-reaching for the stepping stone that is just too far away, and again, ending up in the water.

And I found myself praying that God would help us to put stepping stones in place which were firmly embedded in God, that would not wobble when people stepped on them, that as they explored being with Christians, as they investigated faith, that their trust and openness would not be damaged by un-thought through plans or misguided intentions.

And also, that we would put things in place that do not require people to over-reach themselves. For example, we see a lot of kids and young people come to the young people’s activities, we begin to build relationships with mums and dads as they drop off and pick up their children, we invite them to the odd social event, and then what next… invite them in to church? Well, it might work with some, but it may be a stepping stone or two too far for so many others, and we need to think about what we can put in place that is manageable for people. I even remember that as a kid, if we were trying to cross a river, and there was a large gap between stones, we might even pick up a largish rock and place it somewhere in the water, to make it less necessary to leap prodigiously across a gap. And so with people we meet in our communities. Maybe we need to pick up a few stones too. By going out into our communities more and sitting where people sit, doing and being church where they are, not expecting them to come to us.

Tying the knot...

It is a while since I blogged on here, I know, for all kinds of reasons. It is not an oblogation of course (sorry!!) and writing blogs should not be a chore, so I don’t feel guilty, but I do miss writing, so maybe I will try to do it more often.

Me and Emma, together almost 2 years!!! Amazing really. And because we are engaged, I guess it is inevitable that people occasionally asked me whether we have “any plans”, or "When are you two going to tie the knot?"

My response to that has been that it will happen when it is meant to happen, when circumstances allow. But I was musing on what the question means? Knots secure things, it is true, but our lives are so woven together already, that it is very hard to see the patchwork we have already created coming unravelled. I think maybe in church life, people often like to see things neat and tidy and conforming to the norms. i.e. If people have been engaged for a year, then surely they will get married at such and such a point or at least set a date. And that may be behind one or two of the comments I get sometimes. It just isn't always that easy, when circumstances are like ours, living 8000 miles apart, each of us with our three kids to consider, and not in a position to move to the other country at present.

I have pondered on the fact that the trouble with knots is that they can come undone, can't they? I have my own personal experience of that, sadly. And I always remember reading a book called "The Weight of Water" by Anita Shreve. It was a story of a married couple who on the surface look very solid and in love, and in the net of whose lives, lots of other people are caught up. But in the wake of a tragedy, their life together falls apart, and the author talks of it as a knot in the net coming undone, and everything they had being lost, as the net unravelled.

A new friend has recently given me lots of information about “tying the knot” and where that saying came from. Apparently, according to some article on the internet (or rather, an advert for wedding paraphernalia), "'tying the knot' has various sources. One source believes it stems from the betrothal knot. Rather than the now common engagement ring, history shows that most jewelry was in imitation of knotted cords worn by primitive people around fingers, ankles, wrists and other body parts. Additionally, in Persian and Iranian wedding ceremonies the bride and groom would join hands under a curtain separating the two. A piece of cloth would be wrapped around them and tied with a symbolic knot. Finally, a twist of yarn is wrapped around the couple seven times, then around the knot seven times. More current is the Mexican Catholic practice called lazo, in which a cord is draped around the shoulders of the bride and groom. The cord is then bound by a cross to signify the couple being joined by God. Thinking about it, I remember a similar ceremony at a Greek Orthodox wedding ceremony I attended in Cyprus, years ago.

Various cultures throughout the world have their own ideas of matrimony as "tying the knot." The lovers knot has been an emblem in marriage from the remotest times. It is symbolic of love and duty, and represents an indissoluble union in many societies. In some African cultures, long grasses are braided together and used to tie the hands of the groom and bride together to symbolize their union. In India delicate twine is used in the Hindu Vedic wedding ceremony to bind one of the bride's hand to one of the hands of the groom."

And in Celtic traditions, the idea of a knot tied is important. A Celtic knot is by no means simple. Celts sensed that at the heart of the universe is a level of complexity that cannot be explained by a simple one dimensional theory. So my friend has said that a Celtic knot is a call to humility in the face of overwhelming and mind-boggling complexity.

An old minister at my church used to talk about tapestries. He said if you looked at the back of a tapestry, you could be forgiven for thinking it would look a total mess from out front, as there would be many knotted threads, a myriad of different colours with no overall pattern, perhaps even loose threads in various places. But turn the thing round and view it from the front, and you see the whole picture, see beauty in it, see the point of the design.

So I think I prefer the idea of being woven together or "tapestried" in relationship, and one day in marriage, by allowing the various circumstances of life to be opportunities for us to intermingle, in big ways and small.

When shall we tie the knot? Perhaps I should start saying that I don't know but that we are already being woven together, or made into a tapestry. Or maybe that would lead to more questions... Like, Jo, have you lost the plot?

Don't put things off...

Sometimes you come across a little gem on some other web site. There is a blog on blogger.com called "Amazing Facts", which I know some friends of mine have accessed as I recognise some of the images. Most of the site consists of great pictures and images from around the world.

But the blogger tells this story, or maybe reproduces like I am doing, but did not attribute it to someone else. It moved me, and I pass it on for anyone who comes across my blog. You can see it at :

http://myamazingfact.blogspot.com/2008/07/date.html

A date !

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well?" she asked. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you," I responded. "Just the two of us."

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, "she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down,I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that no-one could do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU!" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve.

Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time."

I do agree with the principle of not putting things off. There are some occasions when I have been so glad I have acted, rather than hesitated. I don't like hospitals generally, and I guess most people find it hard to see people they have once known as hale and hearty, now a pale shadow of themselves, but I was glad that I went to see my late father in law in hospital the day before he died, to say goodbye. I was glad I wrote letters to people who were dying, which their family wrote to them, as I could not be there, and that those letters seemed to mean something to the people concerned, before they died. I am glad that I sometimes act on impulse or hunch, and visit friends or speak up at times when I sense their problems. But I don't always do it, I don't always have the courage of my convictions, I don't always act when I know I should.

Perhaps acknowledging this story from someone else's life, and recording it in my blog of life, will prove inspirational when I need it. Time will tell...

So who's going to win the World Championships?

This year, 2008, we have already seen the European Championships in football. No UK presence, and to be honest, I had other things on, so I watched less than one half of a football match this tournament. At least it was the second half of the final, and I could witness Germany losing.

And later this year, it is the Olympics in China. No real prospect of a haul of medals for Great Britain there either, and I don't reckon I will watch any of it..

These big events hold little interest to me these days. I rarely watch any Premiership football, and I didn't even get to watch Southend United play once last season, having been a real home match regular for years.

There are other priorities in my life now. Like writing on my blog. Yeah, right, first time since February here.

So, something deep and meaningful to share with my readership (haha)? Well, of course. I was amused by this story the other day of an important World Championship event... A guy who had lived in the UK for years was heading back to his home country to take part in the World Sauna Championships.

Sauna is the only Finnish word in the English language (if that does not sound Irish or Double Dutch), so you WOULD think we would pronounce it right. But we don't. It is pronounced "Sowna". Anyway, they hold a World Championships back in Helsinki, every year, for both men and women, and the object of the exercise is to see who can last the longest in temperatures starting from 110 degrees Celsius (230 degrees Fahrenheit) and climbing to 130 degrees Celsius (266 degrees Fahrenheit) in the final round. The rules are simple: stay seated and don't wipe your sweat off.

There were of course loads of Finns in the competition, but this is a true world championships, unlike the World Series in baseball in the States, between only teams from the US of A. Joining the pro-perspirant Finns are fellow Northern European sauna aficionados from Germany as well as representatives of countries where you don't usually need steam to sweat, including Morocco, Egypt and Australia.

Last year, the final two competitors in both the men and women's events were Finnish, so the winner of both events were Finnish. Cue lots of headlines about he or she who is left in there at the end will Finnish as the winner.... except that pun probably does not work in the Finnish language....

Anyway, I am not sure when this year's final is happening, I missed that bit of the interview. But I was amused to hear that the guy who was due to be taking part was in all seriousness asking people to sponsor him, by buying advertising space on his chest!!!!

And his piece de resistance? "So, Timo, how can people contact you about this sponsorship?" "Well, Dave, all they need to do is to e-mail me at SaunaChampion@hotmail.co.uk ". Hot male? Hmm. Here's last year's winner. Make your own mind up.


PS No idea if that link works by the way, but feel free to find out...